Behind Closed Doors- Some Food For Thought

In this world many of us go about our day simply seeing each other, but never really taking into consideration what is going on behind closed doors. As humans, we focus on the fact that our boss is putting too much work on our plate, that a kid at school seems to wear the same oversized clothes everyday, and that the guy who bullies us in school is just a bad person.

In psychology, it is believed that when we fail we tend to blame the situation rather than ourselves. However, when we see others we are more likely to blame them for their personal failings rather than to see the situation that may have caused it. This concept is widely known in the psychology world, but when you try to compare it to your own life it may seem alien. For many of us, looking at others in a positive light is hard, whether we realize it or not.

One time, my drill sergeant was yelling at my platoon. This was pretty common though, as all of the drill sergeants I had at the time seemed to yell at us frequently. However, when she got done with this particular “smoking” session, she told us that she had not seen her wife and kid in two weeks because she was spending all of her time at work.

On another occasion, there was this seemingly intelligent boy who had a bright future in front of him. Then, out of nowhere, he seemed to vanish. People spread rumors that he dropped out because he was lazy. However, a few months later, my mother, who’s a pastor, received a call from my school because he apparently wanted to drop out and the school wanted my mom to convince him to continue his education. His father had died around the same time he stopped showing up to school, but instead of support from his peers during the difficult time, he received ridicule because of their ignorance for his situation.

I think it’s these kinds of situations that really make us realize how much goes on in peoples’ lives that we don’t know about, and I truly believe that we must make a choice to stop making preconceived notions about people before we can truly understand their situation. Your boss, who gives you too much work, might have just as much pressure from their higher-ups to get work done as you do. That boy at school who wears the same oversized clothing everyday, might not be in the best financial situation, and the school bully probably has his own insecurities that cause him to act that way.

We, as a society, need to start looking at the situation as a reason for a failure rather than looking at the person themselves first, and take more consideration for the things that happen behind closed doors.